can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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