I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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