Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
