If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
