After last night, I could never be a politician.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
