sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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