i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
