Betty ford says i'm here all night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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