tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
