trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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