She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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