Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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