yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
