Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
