All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
