If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize