i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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