I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
