Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
