There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
