i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
