Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize