I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
pop tarts are not kleenex
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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