i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
