I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
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i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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