just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
