There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my shit smells like andre
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
