the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
