I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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