The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
