i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
