3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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