dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
