just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.