This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he thought i was a dude.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
