He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
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Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?