I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.