another moral hangover. fuck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
