I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
