She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
