Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
