We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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