***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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