I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
