my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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