I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
