i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
