i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
