No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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