Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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