things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
