I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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