a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
