you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
