8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
