He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
