Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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